If you’re fans of the Kardashians, you’ll know just how well co-parenting can work, but it takes exactly that – work, respect for the other person, and of course, prioritization.
Traditionally, after divorce, the mother kept the children while fathers would take over childcare every other weekend. Now, many children split their time 50:50 between both parent’s homes. Great for the kids (two Christmases, two birthdays, etc.), but more difficult for the parents to manage.
To co-parent, both parties must put aside their differences and opinions and work together to provide their children with the best, most loving home. The following tips will help you discuss and navigate your way to successfully co-parenting.
Decide on motivation
For those just coming from a breakup or divorce, you should sit down and really think about why you want to make co-parenting work. The motivation is, of course, to make things as easy and as nice for the children.
But, while you can know this is the motivation, you really need to believe in the process of co-parenting for it to be successful. If one party is more into the idea than the other, it will quickly fail. Deciding on the motivation together will help you get through the tough times and refocus on why it’s important.
Create a structured plan
Starting your co-parenting journey with a structured plan can take away some of the guessing work. Some parents may find this easier with the help of family solicitors or mediators. Grant Stephens Family Law can work with you to create rules or help you make decisions that work for both parties and the kids.
Although the plan can be adapted in the future, it’s good to lay out all possible situations out on the table. Try to include things about the kids getting sick, either party finding a new partner, moving house, losing jobs, etc. By discussing all these situations, you should be able to express what’s expected of each parent beforehand so that there’s no tension in the moment.
Introducing new partners
Whether or not you initiated the breakup, letting your children welcome a new partner into your family can feel difficult. But that’s not to say both parties should stay single to benefit the kids.
New partners can change the dynamic for the whole family, which is why it’s important to lay out some expectations in your plan to ease the transition.
You might have concerns about new partners being introduced to the kids too early or be worried you’ll get replaced. No matter how silly your concerns or thoughts sound, it’s important to discuss any red lines and keep communication as open as possible.
When the time comes to meet someone new, try not to get too caught up in the romance and assume everything else will fall into place. There may be tension between your ex and your new partner or even the kids.
Be willing to adapt
Being flexible and generous when it comes to spending time with the kids will keep things amicable. If the kids have a presentation, game, or performance, make sure the other parent knows they’re more than welcome to attend with you.
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